Guide to Talking Dirty During Sex: 107 Tips and Examples

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Knowing how to talk dirty during sex isn’t easy, but with this guide and a little practice, anyone can become a pro. As hot as letting someone in on your dirty secrets is, laughter and playfulness can be just as sexy. So relax, enjoy the moment, and let the words (or laughs) flow naturally. Flirty and dirty messages are the ones that often can make your and your loved day and even can play a role in foreplay.

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“Many people feel silly talking dirty,” says Jaiya, a sex educator and author of Blow Each Other Away. “Because they don’t know what to say, they get tripped up.” And once you’re warmed up and in the dirty talking mindset, let yourself really start having fun by improvising your own lines.

How Dirty Talk Stimulates the Brain

I have felt this way hooking up in the past, which makes some sense because being alone with a stranger is probably inherently awkward, but even with my spouse, whom I love deeply, I can’t seem to feel relaxed. I have no trauma that might be the root of this feeling, and I am generally very comfortable with my spouse. After sex, I just want some space and air, which doesn’t seem like it should be too much to ask, but if I try to extricate myself, my spouse gets upset. I have tried explaining that I need some peace and space in the very same way that they need snuggling and the like, to wind down and recenter myself, but I never seem to get through. I sort of fancy Mark Knopfler’s voice, so some Dire Straits songs, like “Fade to Black,” are great. I think having music in the background eases my anxiety.

Don’ts

It’s also safe to say that you might be here because you’re a little unsure of how to engage in this whole dirty talk thing. You might not want to say the wrong thing, or end up feeling embarrassed about not being able to do it well. Nothing counts when it’s said in between the sheets, so if you’re feeling confident, seize the opportunity and tell him/her all of your craziest fantasies. If the thought leaves you tongue-tied, try practicing in front of a mirror — especially the particularly naughty parts — until you are able to say them without feeling embarrassed or laughing. Fantasizing about certain things during sex is not uncommon. However, many people enjoy actually talking about all the sexual things they are doing while they are doing it.

Goodreads has an “Erotica for Men” reading list with more than 100 books. Tongue-tied in the bedroom and scared to cross a line? We have tips and tricks for turning your partner on without saying the wrong thing. An “mmm,” “oh baby,” or similar moan-inspired sound will encourage your partner to continue what they’re saying or doing. They’ll be more likely to help you feel that same feeling. Every time they were intimate, Karen was faking her orgasms.

• “You think, ‘I could never imagine myself saying something like that.'” While you can and should turn to porn and erotica for inspiration, you don’t need to copy the script word for word.
• When delving into dirty talk, Litner suggests going slow.
• The brain and how it organizes the rest of our erogenous zones is further proof of the crucial role of the brain in determining both sex drive and sexual pleasure.
• Laura Brotherson uses the phrase “auditory arousal” in her book.
• Over time, many couples stop experimenting with different recipes and start cooking with just salt and pepper.
• ” “What if somebody ends up laughing, and I feel humiliated?

There are plenty of lists online there with sexy phrases you can use during sex to up the dirty talk. If you’re the one who feels awkward or cringes at the idea of talking dirty yourself, but you find it hot when others do it, know that learning some tips for exactly how to talk dirty can help. “That discomfort may just be a reflection of the fact that you lack experience saying things aloud, without a filter, or intentionally to titillate a partner,” says LGBTQ+ expert and counselor Kryss Shane, LMSW. Dirty talk phrases can also help you bring your fantasies to life and invite your partner into them. “Sharing our desires can help strengthen intimate bonds and trust,” says Nugent.

But if you like you can also type them on your phone and then show them to him. The first place everyone thinks of when it comes to talking dirty to your boyfriend is the bedroom. If you want hotter, more passionate and intense sex, then try saying some of these dirty talking examples to him.

Sexting, the 21st-century version of the classic steamy love letter, is sending sexually explicit messages via text. It’s no surprise how popular sexting has become when you consider how much time the average person spends on their phones, but you can sext via email and other messaging services, too. Rachel Wright, MA, LMFT, recommends using your senses to describe what you’re feeling, seeing, smelling, tasting, and hearing. Here are some of Wright’s suggestions for what to say. Discuss what the dirty talk will entail to make sure it’s within everyone’s established boundaries and desires, explains Harris. You don’t have to be an erotica novelist or fanfic author to crush the dirty talk game.